I had not written a poem for decades. Then at a re-union of old poets of Columbia University I was mysteriously inspired. In my alter ego of the AK-47 carrying Kalashnikover Rebbe, I had found an ancient text in which rabbis rank the most beautiful women in the Bible. Eve wins, but still falls far short of Adam's (phallic) foot. "Like a monkey" is a sort of refrain in the original text.
The Kalashnikover Rebbe, by the way, is only armed against the negativity in himself. David easily defeated Goliath because he had already defeated his inner Goliath. The Kalashnikover Rebbe is still fighting that battle.
Like A Monkey
Our sages tell us Rachel was a beautiful woman.
Light brown hair brown eyes
Five feet six or seven
Not a clothes horse
But always looked great whether getting ready for work
In white cashmere sweater pleated navy skirt
Or in the bleachers at a Cubs game
In cutoffs and t-shirt
Yet beside Sarah our sages tell us
Rachel was like a monkey
Rachel was like a monkey beside Sarah.
For our sages tell us Sarah was a beautiful woman
And most of all she loved to dance.
People try to move too much she said
Diamonds and rust on the stereo
Really you don't even need to move your feet.
You don't even need to move at all
Or just a little really
Yet beside Eve our sages tell us Sarah was like a monkey.
Sarah was like a monkey beside Eve.
For our sages tell us Eve was a beautiful woman
She dyed her hair to a metallic purple sheen
Wore matching purple eye shadow
And silver jewelry
Goth look but she made it work,
Teardrop tattoo by left eye
So small you might not even notice
And to the surprise of many she majored in cosmology
Physics journals on the floor
In her bathroom by the toilet
Yet beside Adam our sages tell us Eve was like a monkey
Eve was like a monkey beside Adam.
Beside Adam’s foot our sages tell us
Eve was like a monkey
His foot shining brighter than the sun
Brighter than a thousand suns
Flash across the just-created sky
Of which though hidden,
A single spark still burns in you.