In which we ask the same questions Teen magazine asked now-pregnant teen idol Jamie Lynn Spears; see original interview here.
Sparrow created quite a stir when, in 1995, he picketed The New Yorker magazine, holding a placard that read âMy poetry is as bad as yours.â His poetry has since appeared in that magazine, as well as The Quarterly, The New York Times and many anthologies. He also was featured in the PBS series âThe United States of Poetryâ and can be heard, along with his legendary band Foamola, on the poetry compilation Poemfone: New Word Order (Tomato). He writes the gossip column for the Phoenicia Times, a contributing editor to Chronogram, works as a substitute teacher, and is the author of America, A Prophecy: The Sparrow Reader, edited by Marcus Boon, as well as Yes, You ARE a Revolutionary! Plus Seven Other Books and Republican Like Me (all from Soft Skull Press), which outlines his unsuccessful run for the 1996 Republican nomination for president. Articles about him have appeared in Rolling Stone, Time and The London Times. We caught up with Sparrow, who lives with his wife and daughter in the Catskill Mountains hamlet of Phoenicia. And we're glad we did!
BAPB: You're in Jr. High, right?
S: No. I have a Masters degree, actually.
What are you most looking forward to?
Seeing a cement truck.
What kind of car do you want?
What kind of cars are there?
What's your favorite subject?
Economics. Especially marine economics.
Do you play any sports?
I am drawn to golf, but ultimately I don't quite lift the club.
Are kids in school treating you differently because of Nickelodeon exposure?
You have a new puppy named Ali, right? How is she?
How old is she now?
She's about four weekends old.
She's a mix, right?
What are your feelings about Ali?
She's young, she's lost, she's almost diseased. I see her as a template for an army of out-of-work radicals.
Where did you find her?
She was sleeping in a drainpipe near Victoria Station.
Do you dress her up?
Do you try to coordinate it with what you're wearing?
I try to intuit what her Unconscious desires.
What is your fashion style?
Baggy Canadian sweaters, mostly.
Of course not. In the winter I wear many corded ropes.
What do you like to do for fun?
Perform the Alexander Technique rest position.
Was it really scary?
Only if I do it in the morning.
TV anything you watch?
Huckleberry Hound -- the early years.
Are you watching Joey?
"Joey" is for militant atheists.
So, you have to get TiVo?
No, I'm not a Yugoslavian.
Do you have an acting coach working with you?
No, but my wife often gives me suggestions.
Is Zoe like you?
Yes, basically we're interchangeable.
How are you not alike?
We prefer different belt loops.
Will that change as you get older?
Yes, according to Lord Buddha.
Have you gotten advice from mom or sister about business?
Sure. My mother feels I should become a high school English teacher.
Do you have a celebrity crush?
I adore Tom Cruise.
What was your most embarrassing moment:
Once I was going on the subway, and my token became stuck in the turnstile, so I lifted up the bar, and a policeman saw me, and gave me a ticket. And it was so embarrassing!
So you raised your hand to answer a question and it was wrong?
You probably haven't raised your hand since?
Are you paying attention to anything I say?
The Story of the Weeping Camel.
I never knew how beautiful Mongolian family life was.
Film star you look up to/like to have a career like?
Do you like Hilary's music?
Only on shampoo commercials.
If you could work with any other actor/actress who?
Jonathan Pryce. (Is he still alive?) [yes, he is--DN]
Would you think you'd died and gone to heaven if you got a part in an Ashton Kutcher/Lindsay Lohan movie?
Not unless I could play a butcher.
Something you can't live without:
Peanut butter, organically grown.
Play video games?
Sometimes I watch my father play chess on Yahoo.
Who's someone you look up to?
He understood how to be Muslim in the USA.