It's funny ain't it how bigots can be pretty good writers? Dostoyevsky, Celene, and hey -- let's call a duck a duck -- Hitler came up with some stuff too. So in my endless endless search for something, anything, that ain't corporate or NPR i found this here guy I think from Missouri, a self-proclaimed Identity Christian who writes (or wrote, as this dates from about five yrs ago) a sort of blog where he rates candidates for local elections. Mark Twain would have recognized this guy and in fact damned if the boy ain't right there in the pages Huckleberry Finn!
This here is the last gasp of what used to be called 'Southwestern Humor.' Category that in the 19th cent. reached fullest expression in the work of a man named George Washington Harris who created a character name of Sut Lovingood. And if you think anything here is offensive, then find you some Sut and read it. Makes Petroleum V. Nasby look like a Sunday school picnic. Here's a description of this character Sut from a contemporary academic study:
"Sut is one of the cruelest characters encountered in Southwest humor. He grossly exaggerates the qualities of conniving, cruelty, brutish behavior and coarse speech--the qualities that enable men to survive the harsh life of the frontier. In turn, respectability, kindness, and brotherhood are characteristics for derision as they constitute the personalities of the weak."
Sut was hugely popular. Kind of makes you stink, or think, don't it? So here's the modern heir in the form of Missouri local election picks from 2002. Only for those who like it raw or maybe medium rare as I have toned this down a little as there are ladies present but use the imaginations God gave you and you will get the idea:
Collector of Revenue
After fighting with Nikki Meyer's Republican mob, John T. Jones complimented me on my courage. I told him that Nikki's mob was stupid to let me irritate them so easily. Jones then asked me if I was saved. I told him that I was a babtised Dual-Seedline Identity Christian. Jones said that he was a 'New Testament' Christian and that God loves everyone. I pointed out that Christ called an Canaanite woman a dog and said that He had come only to the lost sheep of the House of Israel. Jones complimented me on my knowledge of the Bible. I said that if I were to pick and choose what part of the Bible I was gonna obey that it would be be much easier for me to simply worship myself and cut out the religious middle-men. Jones at least had a sense of humor about that conversation.
Jim Otey can go back to reading the sports on the television. Terry Lankford needs to turn states' evidence against Sheriff Ron Doerge. Don't make me have to press 'hindering prosecution' charges before a Revolutionary drumhead tribunal.
I feel sorry for Lee House. She is proud for being married to Roy D. House. Roy D. House is the stupidest asshole in Newton County. Roy's brother was supposedly killed 30 years ago by his fellow drug runners -- it is one of the most popular gossip subjects for the old-timers. Roy ran as a Repub back in 1994 and House interrupted me at a debate posed by a home schooler for tax breaks for home schoolers. Roy House wants nothing but pubic skrewels forced on all children. I told House to shut up on my time. In addition, House whined like a pussy after the Republican primary that the Lawrence County clerk, Robert Bartlesmeyer, stuffed the ballot boxes so that his wife Linda could win the Republican primary, and then when I asked him if that was true, House screetched like a psychotic banshee that he had never said what was common knowledge. Roy D. House is vermin, and definitely at the shallow end of the gene pool even if the pool is nothing more than a bedpan. The thought of the House family being tax collectors is noxious to myself. If you knew of them like I do, they'd be noxious to you too.