"We are changing our name to Schmeltzer..."
I sat the girls down,
Told them, “Girls, we are
Changing our name to Schmeltzer.”
Gave me the puppy dog look.
“Because I said so, dammit!”
Flashed across their physiognomies.
“Lori and Kristin Schmeltzer?”
That was back in the Reagan years,
And that’s how it’s been ever since.
They are fully growed now.
We are the Schmeltzer family and
In Titusville Schmeltzer Means Respect.
Pa During the T-Mobile Commercial
Before there was leave a message
At the sound of the beep
There was Jesus.
Before there was please
Enter the last four digits of your number
There was Beelzebub,
Before there was your zip code
Your four digit identification number
Your password your user name
There was Holofernes and there was Nobodaddy!
Ah, the whole world is going to Hell!
We’ve lost sight of what really matters
And a lot of it is because of electronics!
Kids are obsessed with their Sidekicks!