To Mrs. Lasso
Nicole S. of Johnson City please stop selling drugs to my daughter.
— Mrs. Lasso, classified ad, Press and Sun Bulletin; Binghamton, NY (1997).
First of all your daughter is a crack head and I sold her baking soda and rabbit food!
Second of all you're a drunk and you want to have sex with me!
Third, selling fake drugs to your daughter is like fucking you a little,
yeah, a little fucking is good! I take your daughter's money, which is really yours! April took it from your purse when you were drunk!
Your husband raped you; he rubbed his penis on your face when you were passed out on the couch!
For fifteen dollars you got a dick in the face! For fifteen more dollars
you put an ad in the paper and announced that I sell drugs!
What you really paid for is a bad marriage, saggy tits, homosexual fantasies, and the realization you want to fuck me! You are a prostitute Mrs. Lasso! You buy sex! I masturbate like all drug dealers do! I wet myself to the thought of your puckered lips and sell the real drugs to mommas like you!
-- Nicole Santalucia