Jason Camlot’s poem “Aphids” exemplifies his playfulness with language and his sharp wit. Every line is funny. Camlot takes well-known aphorisms, turns them on their head, and makes you think of habitual language in a new light. The decadent themes in the poem echo Oscar Wilde, a notorious debaucher and aphorist. I think of a line from the title poem of Camlot’s The Debaucher: “Débaucher is traditionally a verb./ It might have meant to un-bench/ (de-bauche) someone, that is, to disturb/ him in his work.” Here, Camlot unbenches aphorisms to make them flow in new directions.
-- Greg Santos
Aphids
The worst mistake in life or literature is to have the wrong feeling.
– Louis Dudek
There are no real swans, only imaginary ones.
But imaginary swans still suffer.
Life is short and art long, unless you outlive yourself.
In that instance, you have your whole life to mourn in art.
Axioms are not axioms unless the letter x is available.
But for how long can we rely upon the letter x?
When you say, “I’m sorry,” I don’t want to look at you.
But then I can’t see if I still please you.
Absence makes the heart bleed profusely.
The heart loves to swim in blood and absinthe.
If I love you, I am not telling you.
If you ask, I will have to kill you.
Men and women are the only animals that blush.
And some fish sometimes deign to blush.
Aphids have piercing-sucking mouthparts called stylets.
See tiny Aphrodite in her sharp styletto heels.
Beware the man who abides by only one book.
But if he loses it, help him find his one book.
A cigarette is a perfect kind of love. Ashes are a perfect form of death.
An ashtray is like dying in a drained Motel 8 Jacuzzi.
Lies are only bad if they cause pain, truths are always good.
Truths can cause severe pain, but they are still right.
The superfluous can be most useful to someone.
Go to the superfluous store to find just what you need.
Aphorisms should be distinguished from axioms.
But who has the time, what with maxims and proverbs and whatnot?
The worst mistake in life or literature is to have the wrong feeling.
Come to me and I will tell you which of your feelings is wrong.
Jason Camlot, from The Debaucher, 2008
