More movie pitches...
Hey Kids, What Time Is It?
A down and out ex-ballplayer meets up (but does he really?) with characters like Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy on the subway. He gets taken to the psych ward but when his case is publicized he starts speaking on college campuses and his sex life revives.
Told from the intercut points of view of a college student’s laptop; an old lady’s laptop; the laptop of a traveling salesman; and a laptop in public library being used by a man who graduated from the University of Pennsylvania but is now a homeless man. We see who these people really are and who they pretend to be in internet chat rooms, blogs, emails, and on social networking sites like Beautiful Surrender and Facebook. But the computers are the real heroes.
Please Kick Me
A lovable animated pig joins forces with a major league umpire who made a bad call in the World Series and with the help of the umpire’s 10th grade daughter, a science prodigy, they switch places so the pig becomes the umpire and the umpire becomes the pig. But all hell breaks loose because the pig is a huge Yankees fan.
Locked in the Bathroom
When his grandmother accidentally locks herself in the bathroom of an Olive Garden restaurant a survivalist named Peter Polinari looks everywhere except the Olive Garden bathroom and in so doing gets himself into deep financial trouble. Finally, when he has to choose between finding his grandmother and the wilderness, he chooses the wilderness – but we know she’s already gotten out so “no harm no foul.”
A small-town insurance man wakes up one morning with the ability to play world-class tennis but nobody believes him except this one nerdy high school kid who makes a video of the insurance man playing tennis and posts it on Youtube. Before long the insurance man is playing in the finals of the US Open but then he forgets how to play tennis (like when Dumbo loses his magic feather) and the nerd has to go into the broadcast booth with John McEnroe to explain this to millions of viewers.
The Main Course
Remember in 2005 when that ex-Soviet spy was allegedly poisoned by radioactive smetena (sour cream) at a London restaurant? What about in 2006 when another ex-Soviet spy (a beautiful woman) was also allegedly poisoned by radioactive smetena? Or in 2007 when a third ex-Soviet spy (secretly working for the CIA) was allegedly poisoned by radioactive smetena? Debbie, a junior at the University of Pennsylvania , starts to connect the dots but all hell breaks loose when her professor makes her eat smetena.
A rookie police officer with an extremely high voice gets partnered with a veteran police officer who also has a high voice and the unlikely team hits the streets of L.A. for run-ins with the Mexican mafia, brutal gang murders, and corrupt cops, but because of their high voices nobody takes them seriously.
Careful What You Fish For
Naomi is a 30-something attorney who thinks she’s found the perfect man (Bob) but when he doesn’t call after the first time they sleep together she does some investigating and finds out he’s the male equivalent of a mermaid (merman?) so she turns for help to her girlfriend Drew who works at the aquarium and who can actually talk with fish. So after explaining Naomi’s problem to some fish, Drew releases the fish into the ocean where they network with thousands of other fish to find Bob.
Like a Bumblebee, Kick Like a Mule
The life and times of the first mule ever to kick a field goal in the National Football League from his birth on a farm in Maine to the last ten seconds of the Super Bowl which is between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the San Diego Chargers (the mule is playing for the Chargers, who are two points behind ) and the coach puts him in, but something goes wrong with his hoof, so instead of kicking the field goal he has to try to run for a touchdown. (Ball was on the thirty-five yard line.)