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March 14, 2010

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So - I flunked out of philosophy. Does this mean every man I talk to wants to fuck me or photograph me in the bathroom?

Mon Dieu, you are so queeck, mon cher! Perhaps ... both?

No wonder I got an F.

Excusez-moi! Ma chere!

No problem - I flunked French, too.

Instead of readink ze existential peoples, you were readink ze American thriller writer, LaSalle DeBains.

That was it!

Okay, I cheated. I used an instant translator thing on Google. I told you I flunked French.

Very funny, Monsieur Smartass.

The instant translator thing says "Smart ass" in French is "Âne élégant." That wasn't what I was going for, but you are a snappy dresser.

vood you say Madame de Beauvoir was a, how you say, "smart ass"? or ees that just a nasty crack?

- monsieur gopnik

Ba-da-boom! (That's your rim-shot.)

Oh Jean-Paul, why don'tcha just shut up and kiss me ya big lug.

Umm - she's wearing kitten heels. No one wears kitten heels on a slippery wet bathroom floor, unless she wants to break her neck. This was posed, said the cynic.

Ooo, kitten heels. How do you know about kitten heels? It wasn't posed: she didn't want the cockroaches to run all over her feet. She knew the young photog was there; she wanted to stimulate his Leica.

I know about kitten heels because I too was young once.

Um, any pictures on the internet? You can tell me; I think we're alone out here.

Alas, all my photographs were burned in a fire that started when I stumbled in my kitten heels and knocked a lit strawberry-scented candle into the drapery.

The only thing that you need in this world to get through everything, is faith...
It's all about the faith, the family and your friends!!!!!!

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I left it
on when I
left the house
for the pleasure
of coming back
ten hours later
to the greatness
of Teddy Wilson
"After You've Gone"
on the piano
in the corner
of the bedroom
as I enter
in the dark
                   

from New and Selected Poems by David Lehman


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Ringfinger was nervous
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