Tribute to My Sister on her First Mother's Day [by Reb Livingston]
"This is to Mother You" by Sinead O'Connor
One time when my sister was a teenager, I got her drunk and took her to a party full of college boys. She told a boy how much Sinead O'Connor meant to her. The boy said that he saw Sinead in concert and she "sucked." So my sister kicked him in the crotch. Then she didn't feel well. On the way back to my dorm room she said she was hungry, so I stole a pizza.
Now my little sister is somebody's mother.
Happy First Mother's Day, Erica. I will always be here to "comfort you and get you through" just like Sinead. Now that I'm older, wiser and you're a lawyer, I will do so in ways that do not break the law or make you barf because I realize that sort of stuff is important to you.