I need a pedicure. I need to spend more time Little Miss Sunshining my ass on a hammock on Fort Lauderdale beach. I need to live in the present tense. I need to stop caring about my presence in the present tense. Ghosts exist in every tense--past, future, present and inside the tenses that exist in between these. Bartenders at Lago Mar make $60,000 a year and I don't care if I'm beautiful.
I'm trying not to be a liar.
While lying on the beach yesterday, I read Tony Leuzzi's Raidant Loses while sharing a towel with Jupiter. The title of Leuzzi's book was appropriate for the weather. It was radiant, not the losses, but the day. I wore my ridiculously tight black Lycra-Nylon square cut bathing suit and a navy blue floppy-rimmed hat to protect my face from ultraviolet radiation. I'm under treatment to remove scars and wrinkles. The cost of the treatment equals skin cancer if I allow my face to be exposed to the light. I really want to be a goat or the man with no face.I want to spend every day consumed by a blinding light.
FYI #1: Playgrounds aren't just for kids. They're for adults too and the idea of adulthood.
FYI #3: Yesterday was the first time I spent more than three hours on a beach since I was child. I live less than a mile from the beach. I once lived less than 100 yards from the beach. We drove 20 miles to Fort Lauderdale to spend the day on the beach.No beer cans were harmed during the writing of this post. The beach wasn't harmed either. I hope.
FYI #4: I can (kind of) float.
We sunned next to a turtle nest—bursting with almost life—that was cordoned off by yellow crime scene tape. I didn't know almost baby turtles could be criminals.I didn't know it was a crime to nest, but we nested anyway.
When we got home from the beach, this is what I learned: Lynda Carter, a.k.a Wonder (Freaking) Woman, had a singing career. I don't know what to say. I don't know how I feel. I don't feel like a responsible homosexual anymore. YouTube will explain: I also learned that Kazaky is from Ukraine, not Russia, and they inspired in me the courage to be gratuitous: