If the
recent protests in India prove to be a tipping point for a safer place in
society for women, language may need as much reform as police or judicial
procedures.
As the mother of two daughters in college, I chose to start 2013 at the New
Delhi protests over the brutal gang rape and subsequent death of a female
paramedical student. I was in India to meet my eldest daughter who’d been
traveling with a classmate born in Nepal. As a poet and former journalist, I
also dove into the language of the event, spending my nights surfing the
extensive coverage in English on 24-hour news channels and reading the robust
print media. Many of the words were worrisome.
"Eve teasing" is a common media moniker in India for a broad
spectrum of sexual harassment, essentially everything that falls short of rape.
Verbal street harassment, flashing and molestation are all a lot more serious
than the archaic euphemism suggests. In a 2012 poll, 78 percent of New Delhi
women reported verbal or physical sexual harassment and 98 percent of young men
admitted it's commonplace among their friends.
I sensed a
hunger for leadership in framing the debate. The presence at protests of so
many young men as well as parents with their children was encouraging and
mirrored hopes for change reported by media. I discounted fringe theories such
as the regional minister who concluded, “stars are not in position.” (One
expects noise from the most conservative corners as I recalled the barbaric
theories about rape from several U.S. Congressional candidates this fall.) Most
discouraging, however, was the range of government and religious officials
across the nation who blamed women for the violence, whether because of immodest
dress or a decline of Hindu values. The son of the President of India, a member
of Parliament, called female protesters "highly dented and painted"
women who “have no connection with ground reality.” A popular Delhi spiritual
leader said the gang rape victim could have saved herself by praying at her
attackers’ feet. And far too many of the screaming heads on television were
yelling for chemical castration even though experts pointed out that violent
crimes against women are more often about power than sex.
Even the
propensity to label the 23-year-old a girl in headlines indicated how language
contributes to the lack of respect and response from the streets, the police
and the courts. Only one of more than 600 rapes reported in New Delhi in 2012
has produced a conviction. And few people dispute that rape is vastly underreported
because of the widespread conviction that only people with political
connections will get any semblance of justice from corrupt, underpaid, poorly
trained and mostly male police departments and the overwhelmed and understaffed
courts.
Even so, there is no shortage of reporting about violent attacks each day. In
two national newspapers, daily roundups of recent rapes across the nation are headlined
“Criminals Everywhere” and “Meanwhile…” In early January those briefs included a
dead 16-year-old found hanging from a tree, a 15-year-old allegedly kidnapped
by a neighbor dead in a school toilet and a 15-year-old held captive and raped
for 15 days by three men from her village.
It’s dangerous
to be female in India from the womb to old age. The list of causes is long and
complicated: aborted girls, female infanticide and neglect, domestic violence, sexual
violence, dowry and family disputes. From cradle to grave, males get a larger
share of family resources whether for nutrition or health care or mosquito netting
for malaria.
“If there’s one
glass of milk left, it’s still going to the boy in the family,” said a mustached,
middle-aged office manager at the New Delhi protests on New Year’s Day. “It’s
just disgusting how we treat women of all ages.”
He’d approached
me with a very nervous mother and her teenaged daughter he’d just met, in case
my camera meant I was a reporter. Their faces were already partly covered by bright
scarves, which they instinctually pulled even tighter as he relayed their dilemma.
The 17-year-old went to the police at her mother’s behest after being raped by
a neighbor in South Delhi. Not only did the police do nothing, the man and his
friends are now regularly threatening mother and daughter. “Can you tell me who
they can talk to who will take them seriously?” the man asked.
The stakes
inherent in that question are quite high. About 25 million women could be alive
if the suspiciously low ratio of women to men in India was more in line with
areas of the world with more equal gender care, according to research published
in December in the Economic &
Political WEEKLY.
The analysis of
government mortality data concluded that 100,000 women are burned to death each
year and another 125,000 die from violent injuries rarely reported as murder or
suicide.
“The plight of
adult women in India is as serious a problem as that of young girls who were
never born or die prematurely in childhood,” wrote the authors Siwian Anderson
of the University of British Columbia and Debrai Ray of New York University.
They called for further study of their hypothesis that the excess adult deaths
are “associated with the custom of dowry which has been linked to bride-burning
and dowry-death if promised dowry payments are not forthcoming.”
Women have made
enormous strides in India in recent decades in education and workplace
opportunities but still live in a patriarchal society that has traditionally
defined them by their relationships as daughters and wives and mothers. The
visible successes of Indian women among the uncertainties and opportunities of
the global economy makes them a target of the vast numbers of young men, many
unemployed or underemployed, who outnumber young women of marriageable age.
“The modern
woman is seen to be on a collision course with our age-old traditions, part sex
goddess part super achiever, loathed and desired in equal measure,” Sagarika
Ghose wrote in a column in The Hindustan
Times. “A profound fear and a deep, almost pathological, hatred of the
woman who aspires to be anything more than mother and wife is justified on the
grounds of tradition.”
Amartya Sen, an
economist who won the Nobel Prize in 1998 and pioneered the concept of missing
women, notes that the acceptance of elite women in top positions of political
power since India became an independent nation in 1947 does not have a trickle
down effect. In his book of essays The
Argumentative Indian, Sen places improved gender equality high on his list
of what India needs to maximize opportunities in the global economy. If the
nation needs a model on how to do better, he and other respected voices say
look no further than the teachings and example of Mahatma Gandhi.
I started 2013 in the
footsteps of Gandhi, literally; his last steps are marked on the path where he
was assassinated in 1948 for his advocacy for equality for all of humanity. Beside
those steps, beside the Gandhi museum, the Women’s Initiative for Peace in
South Asia hosted an interfaith prayer meeting for “Peace Dignity Equality
Justice & Respect for Women and Girls” on New Year’s Day. A picture of
Gandhi towered over the open-air auditorium as I sat down with a book of his
writings I’d just purchased in the museum shop.
“Of all the evils for
which man has made himself responsible, none is so degrading, so shocking or so
brutal as his abuse of the better half of humanity to me, the female sex, not
the weaker sex,” Gandhi wrote.
I flipped the book
over and printed on the back binding was praise of Gandhi’s vision of greatness
by Rabindranath Tagore, the Nobel Laureate poet whose words I happily bumped
into all across India.
No poet has to be
convinced that language can be a compass.
*****
Upcoming this week: Indian
writers on respect and reform, a poets walk with a Delhi arts curator and a
review of an extensive new anthology of Indian English poetry and interview
with the editor.