Editor's note: J. Edgar Hoover was born in New Year's Day, 1895, in Washington, D.C. Hoover is the subject of a surprising number of poems, including this sonnet by John Tranter.
Punish me with jugs of honey
Tie me down with bramble twine,
Stuff my mouth with wads of money –
Please be mine.
Kick me with your winklepickers,
Gag me with your wrinkled knickers,
Make me lick your brutal shoe:
Love me do.
Garnish me with couch and fescue,
Dress me in an acid dressing,
Telegram your roughest blessing,
Be my howling search and rescue –
When I’m lost and all alone,
Take me home.
-- John Tranter
First published in The Australian, 2012