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June 20, 2014

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I would suggest "Real Dogs," which is a translation of Koitsenko, the honorary warrior society for the greatest warriors of the Kiowa tribe. There were only ten men in the Koitsenko. They were elected by the members of the other military societies. (It's too bad there aren't ten men on a football team.) A downside is that the Koitsenko probably weren't very politically correct. Among other things, the Kiowa like some other tribes were slave traders. But most people won't look too deeply at that, and I love "Real Dogs."

The Red Scare
The Hogs
The Groundhogs
The Feral Boars
The Skintones
The Skinflints
The Skinheads
The Skinetics
The Schematics
The Agenda
The Scenarios
The Swampoodles
The Spoiler Alerts
The Federal Bureau of Devastation
The Gridiron Protection Agency
The Known Unknowns
The Nattering Nabobs
The Blowbacks


The Watergates. The Filibusters. THE Sequesters. The Fucking Insane Traffic Circles. The Gerrymanders. The Madisons. The Hope Diamonds.
The Pandas. The Metros.

Someone (and of course I can't remember who) suggested keeping the name "Redskins" and changing the image to a bowl of steaming boiled red potatoes.

You're far more than fair to Mr. Snyder.

Strangely, I currently find myself temporarily residing outside D.C. and the only possible name that makes sense to me would be the Washington Golfers. Maybe use a Z at the end instead of an S to spice it up. I say this because there are so many golf courses in and around the Capitol that if you had a decent drive you could finish 18 and then hit the ball to an adjacent course and call that first hole the 19th and just keep playing, until you complete about a 150,018-hole round. Imagine how much money a caddy could earn. Oh, no, please, make it stop--the Washington Caddies.

One thing many palefaces have overlooked about Native Americans was the widespread fear of owls. Had the palefaces brought along owls on their wagon trains, much violence could have been averted. So if the team's name does change, but they want to keep some connection to Native traditions, the new name should absolutely have nothing to do with owls. There should be no images of owls on the helmets, logos, stationery, etc, and any staff who contravene that prohibition should immediately be fired.

The simple solution is to call the team The Washington 'Skins. Would any group really want to sue over an apostrophe? As for the helmets, use the "R" logo (the trademarked one on Joe Gibbs's hat) as a tribute to RFK, site of the glory years. We fans call them the 'Skins already.

I agree.

With whom?

OK, so shoot me. I don't get it, and I'm a big Passamaquoddy and Coast Salish fan. Why isn't the choice of proud identification with the braves (& the rooting for them to win) considered a tribute or valorization? Could the team choose such a name only if it literally comprised exclusively Native American players? Would they be admonished for turning the term into an emblem of honor? Or would that be taken for an even worse offense? When I was in Ireland and referred to myself as a Mick, I was amazed to find some people miffed. Should I forbear to call myself a Mick? In general, I'd say, I feel people's hurtings -- rather than hurt people's feelings-- but MY name does begin with Mc -- and my ancestors were as Irish as anyone's--and if there were a team called the Fighting Micks that made a name for itself by conquest on the playing field, and had a stadium full of Mick-loving fans, hell, the moniker might seem to do a bit of vindication. That the Irish may have been forced to fight by provocation (rather than having been constitutionally disposed to battle), and that they were treated abominably by their invaders, all seems beside the team-naming point. If a people rightly or wrongly get KNOWN as formidable warriors, the reputation might be turned to proud advantage were the Mickname championed on other battlefields... Then again there's always, say, the anagram of Washington Redskins (which is Showering Inkstands) -- or that of Wa Redskins (which is Irked Swans).

Hear, hear!

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I left it
on when I
left the house
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of coming back
ten hours later
to the greatness
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"After You've Gone"
on the piano
in the corner
of the bedroom
as I enter
in the dark
                   

from New and Selected Poems by David Lehman


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