"Got the mail. Here's a list of 'Easter Fun Facts,' straight from Jesus.
Did you know He suffered from 'Dysfunction, Resurrectile,'
until His Father threw a thunderbolt projectile?
It broke the stone to pieces--"
"--'and scared all the feces
out of Magdalen, Peter, and John the Reptile'?
No, I didn't know that. Let me open their 'Dreck File'--
maybe there's a paparazzi shot where Mary 'V's us."
"You're disgusting. Did you know if you have a Resurrection
lasting longer than 'Eternity'
by Calvin Klein, you should consult an attorney?
Or that John Calvin was saved in a run-off election?"
"Well, he had a lot of followers. He was a Twitterer,
after all. Is that from the 'Atheist Collective'? Do they want money?
Okay, I'll lighten up and try to be funny--
although the guy who wrote 'Snowbound' was Whittier."
[from the archives; originally posted May 2013]