"The Most Boring Man" (by Jim Cummins)

The Most Boring Man

At last I am more
boring than the most
boring man at work.
I see panic in his eyes
as he’s washing up.
I enter the restroom
with a friendly smile
and the charming start
to a garrulous tale:
he’s gone like a shot.
I chuckle and piss.
Oh, the years of listening,
caught in the beam
of another’s high regard
for his riveting life!
Handholding, counsel—
die, miserable dogs!
No more the talking cure
driving me insane,
no more the delightful
tar pits of the cute.
I am the most boring
now and it only took
learning how to share.

– Jim Cummins

Comments

[DL]

Has "share" been corrupted beyond redemption? I like a line in a poem by Cincinnati native William Matthews: "Let me share this knife with your throat," said Mackie.

[jim cummins]

I know; it's hard to squeeze even a laugh out of it anymore. Not like Bill's line, which is funny because of an edge of terror the poet himself inspires: I only met him once, but I wouldn't have been surprised to find him holding a knife along my throat. Way unlike me, of course; I'm totally non-violent. For the longest time. Really. And that last thing wasn't even my fault.