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October 21, 2008


Laramie - just my 2 cents ... perhaps the references to nicked caves, though interpretable as sexual references (dark holes), are actually being interpreted by dear Plato up in his realm as references to his famous vision of the cave; he could thereby be showering Platonic friendships upon you as a result.

to remedy this, may i suggest that you move from a subterranean realm to a mediterranean one. In other words, leave your 600 spelunking poems and try taking small mediterranean-inspired poems and using them as pickup lines. These have never worked for me, but you are most likely a better poet than i am so maybe you might be more successful.

here are three such strategies you might try :

strategy 1 : the slow and steady approach (SSA)

"molluscan etruscan press me
and i will grow
into your chroman empire"

say this to some hottie and then raise your eyebrows up and down knowingly. if that doesn't work, heres another strategy :

strategy 2 : the jump the gun approach (JGA)

"orcan mallorcan caress me
and i will flow
upon your cetacean attire"

this implies... ah.. a tendency towards premature results. who knows though, said female may get off on that. if THAT doesn't work, go for broke :

strategy 3 : the endless repression approach (ERA)

"krillian sicilian distress me
and i will glow
yet fizzle your crustacean fire"

this threat to let her down unless some action is taken could be seen as a last ditch effort. as i get older, this approach seems more and more natural to me.

the acronyms for these approaches may seem appropriate :

SSA = slow and steady approach = social security administration. Presumably, little by little, the relationship will develop.

JGA = jump the gun approach = justice guild of america. teenage comic book material. led by "the streak". Presumably, this approach is juvenile and might lead to premature staining.

ERA = endless repression approach = equal rights amendment. make of this what you will.

also, think of the animals in your poems:

SSA = slow and steady approach = the mollusc. the murex mollusc was the source of the imperial purple (tyrian purple); if i remember right, aristotle said you could just squish'em to release the ink (in his History of Animals). might take a while to go from the etruscans to the romans but sounds like big dividends to me.

JGA = jump the gun approach = the orca. Pliny writes, 'Orcas...charge and pierce them [other whales] like warships ramming'. sounds to me like this approach may be too fast.

ERA = endless repression approach = krill. krill are bioluminescent, yet uninspiring. sounds to me like this approach starts out ok, but never can quite get that glow to turn into a flame. curse you, old age!! (here i shake my fist at the sky)

ah well. i'm just blathering at this point. good luck to thee, laramie

Laramie--just a thought:

WWDD (What Would Dubya Do?)

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