Today is Ash Wednesday. This you can deduce from the people walking up and down the avenues all smudged on their foreheads looking Lynette Fromme-ey (it's a mark of contrition, not a show of Manson Family solidarity, Folks). It is the day that many Western Christians begin the the great fast of Lent. Lent is a time of abstinence, a period of reflection, a season of meditation on our need for a savior. It's when we are called to recall that we are all but ash, and it is to the ashes that we shall return.
If the thought of that bums you out, then remember: it's supposed to.
Many practicing Christians make sacrifices during Lent. The sacrifice is intended to leave a hole, a vacuum that you are then supposed to invite the holy awe of God and all His mercies to enter into. Some people give up a favorite food-- chocolate, meat, sweets of all kinds, liquor. Other Christians give up habits. One Lent I made it a priority to refrain from backbiting. That was hard to do, and I'm not even all that much of a snarly bitch. Sometimes, it's not a tangible that is given up, but rather a practice that is taken on-- daily prayer, charity work, eucharistic devotion.
This year, I am giving up something for Lent that I'd be embarrassed to tell you about, if I didn't know that many of you did it already TOO.
Kids, I'm giving up Self-Googling.
If I told you how often I did it, I'd be more mockable than I already is. Like many other unnatural tics and online habits, the Googling of the Self had its genesis in curiosity. It began in the immutable innocence of Hmm let me see if anyone's saying anything about my X, my Y, or my Z.
But my tendencies, in general, veer towards the compulsive. This many of you may have gathered from knowing me socially. But when she gets behind closed doors, and she lets her hair hang down, she turns into a nervous scarab of twitches and clickity-clicks, continually checking up on texts and hyper-texts and hyperly texting. It's not just the ego surfing, it's the randomly vapid refreshing of the email, the mad-cap capers of Facebook status-making, the moot perusal of news I have already read a hundred times this morning. No more is it simple narcissism. Narcissism I can handle-- we're writers, dammit, we have to be a little full of ourselves. The problem is one of time wasting. I don't have time anymore to waste.
So here it goes. I place a veil, a caul before my own googledy eyes. Pray for me.
Also, I'm giving up sugar and candies. If you will-- I'm giving up Lindt for Lent.
My Lenten discipline is always to try to be a less snarky person. It's the same every year, so obviously I'm still working on it.
Posted by: Laura Orem | February 25, 2009 at 05:18 PM
I've often thought that Passover is the Jew's Lent in that we can't eat leavened food, hence, Matzoh. After a week of it (Matzoh pizza, Matzoh brie, Matzoh balls), you really feel like you've been through something. Thanks for this post Jill. Seeing lots of people walking around with ash crosses on their foreheads is a bit frightening. Still, I find such rituals deeply moving.
Posted by: Stacey | February 26, 2009 at 06:15 AM
Stacey - I think you are absolutely right about the connection between Passover and Lent. The Christian liturgical calendar is closely allied to the Jewish one, so it makes sense. Also, do you know what the ashes are made of? They are the burnt palms from the previous year's Palm Sunday service, emblematic of the palms waved by the crowds during Jesus' entry into Jerusalem. So there is a cyclical element to it, too.
Nothing scary. Just sooty. Kind of like getting copier toner on your forhead.
Posted by: Laura Orem | February 26, 2009 at 07:15 AM
When I was in high school, I used to cut class on Ash Wednesday, smoke a cigarette with my friends and smear the ashes on my forehead. I got away with it because of my anglicized name. So I guess it wasn't really cutting (so she rationalized).
Posted by: Stacey | February 26, 2009 at 10:05 AM
You know, Jesus hated math. I know this for a fact. He came down in a fiery chariot and told me in my driveway.
Posted by: Laura Orem | February 26, 2009 at 12:42 PM
Okay, now, I'm working on it, I'm working on it! Jeesh, it's only the second day of Lent... give me a break.
Posted by: Laura Orem | February 26, 2009 at 01:29 PM
Jillie, not to worry, I google you maybe almost as much as you do. But then I kind of do it to see if anyone is saying anything about your amazing book, Necropolis, which is published by neoNuma Arts and available at all booksellers with access to Ingram Distributors (which is pretty much all of them). And as your publisher, I am required to point out at this juncture that Necropolis is the perfect lenten book. Is this too much? Should I not do this? Too late, I guess. I'll give it up for lent. Next year.
Posted by: Neil Ellis Orts | March 01, 2009 at 10:01 PM