"The D on My Transcript" [by Nin Andrews]

Dear Professor,

I am so sorry that I learned that a D showed up on my transcript and I just wanted to explain that it happened

because I have mono
because I have the flu
because I have a learning disability
because I have fibromyalgia
because I have diabetes
because I have an undiagnosed disease
because I ate chicken nuggets the night before the final
because I got sick after eating chicken nuggets
because I haven’t been taking my meds
because I am depressed
because my meds aren’t working
because I can’t concentrate anymore
because my girlfriend left me
because my girlfriend’s friends won’t talk to me now
because my girlfriend got pregnant
because the baby died
because someone else I love died, too
because I cried and cried
because I am so far behind
because I am slipping to the end of my rope
because someone keeps setting off the alarm at 3AM in my dorm
because I know that someone who likes setting off fire alarms
because I wish the campus police could catch the someone and put him away
    for good
because the campus police don’t do their jobs
because I am always tired these days
because my motivation is dwindling
because I can’t catch up
because class is where I sleep now that I don’t sleep
because I feel like Pavlov’s dog
because I open my text book and fall asleep
because I can’t do the homework
because I didn’t come to class so I never got the assignment
because my computer broke so I didn’t get my assignments
because I lost my syllabus and didn’t know we had any assignments
because I have homework in my other classes, too, especially Russian history
because the history professor punishes me if I’m late or don’t show up or turn
    in my homework
because I have a really strict Russian history professor
because I have to study my history so much, I barely have any time left
    for physics
because I switched majors and now I don’t need your class
because I want to be an intellectual, not a scientist
because I know you are understanding
because I won’t tell a soul if you change my grade to a C
because I have heard you are the nicest guy
because I loved your class even if I never showed up for it
because I’d never forget you if you helped me out this one time
because I need to believe relief is in sight
because I’ll never need physics in real life.

-- Nin Andrews

Comments

[Laura Orem]

I am sending this to everyone I know.

[Ken Tucker]

This is extraordinary, beyond (though indeed) funny: moving, capturing a state of mind.