Reb Livingston Presents a Poem by Steve Fellner

Ode To Matthew Shepard

Once I hit
someone I loved.

It wasn’t
very hard. But

I hit him. I
hit him

in the way you
hit someone

you need
to stop

loving you. I
can still

remember the way
the body looked

when I hit it.
It was ruined

with my knowing
you could hurt

a body and it
still needs

something
more than

your pain. 
Narrative is

as corrupt
as the thoughts


of the men who
murdered

you, Matthew.
Explanation never

satisfies. It 
always wants

something
like redemption.

* * *

Steve Fellner is the author of Blind Date with Cavafy (Marsh Hawk Press) and All Screwed Up (Benu Press). No Tell Motel first published this poem in May 2008. Steve wrote, "I believe in ghosts, and I hope these poems do not anger Matthew Shepard’s ghost. I do not mean any harm. I want to get at something, and this is the only way I know how."

Comments

[Laura Orem]

Excellent poem. Thanks for posting it.