"There's no footballer called Plato" by Roddy Doyle (via facebook)

‘Did you hear your man, the Senator, on the radio there?’
‘I fuckin’ hate the radio. Which one?’
‘The one that’s running for President. He was goin’ on abou’ Plato.’
‘The footballer?’
‘The ancient Greek – there’s no footballer called Plato.’
‘I bet there is.’ 
‘Fuck up an’ listen.’
‘In Brazil, somewhere.’
‘Shut up. He was sayin’ abou’ Plato. Young fellas came to him. Offerin’ themselves, like. In return for sharing the wisdom of his fuckin’ years. It was common enough - in ancient Greece.’
‘Wha’ kind o’ wisdom?’
‘I don’t know – ‘Remember to put the bins ou’ the night before collection day.’ The bits of cop-on yeh pick up. In exchange for your moment of pleasure.’
‘Your moment of pleasure could go on all day, if you were talkin’ abou’ puttin’ the fuckin’ bins ou’ while you were havin’ it.’
‘Tha’ was what I was thinkin’.’
‘The whole country would grind to a fuckin’ standstill.’
‘I was thinkin’ that as well.’
‘No wonder Greece is in fuckin’ bits.’
‘I’m with yeh.’
‘Could they not have, like - just gone for a pint?’

-- sdh