Karine and I met in a café where a giant, silenced television screen scrolls bits of catastrophe: Raaqua drone strike! US mass shooting beneath jerky images. This, near the rue de Rivoli, early in the morning, under the churning autumnal cloud of June 21st.
The first day of summer. Day of the Fête de la musique.
In the Seine and in the gutters, the waters may have receded, but don’t bother sending out any doves. There is an abundance of vegetable matter right here and now. As Karine has not tired of pointing out these past few weeks, months, “O! It’s so green. Like Ireland!”
She’s never been to Ireland. It’s her way of staying sane. She means well. I can’t blame her. This doesn’t stop the spasmodic clutching of my fingers as I stare at her rain-smooth, moon-pale neck and bosom and hear the Ireland thing for the umpteenth time.
My own, well-rutted, way to sanity is to note the date in Unités d’automne universel or UAU, “Universal Fall Units”.
Thursday is Thursday, October 245th, 2015 UAU.
Karine eyes me hard when I use the UAU system and after all this time, I am not fool enough to wonder what she’s thinking.
But my own eyes think back: I could also pretend to be from Down-Under, badly mime the accent and pretend to not to notice this désastre climatique.
Anyhow, Karine knows as well as anyone that none of this is my fault.
For years, I’ve strongly advocated sending all combustion phenomena and associated machinery to Mars. A warm, greening effect on that dry planet, indeed, any effect, would be a welcome change. But because they know neither to read nor to spell, they sent the nasty stuff to China instead, where the rulers are proud of it.
I long ago washed my hands of the affair.
As I scrutinize Karine across the table, her falsely delicate index and thumb pinch the tiny fluted handle of the little white espresso cup hard. I think, “There is something to the pathetic fallacy”.
How intolerable would the world be for me if, from time to time, at least, this woman’s glance did not light the Sun or her Hand recall Tenderness past and to come? It beats constructing gloomy ideas from the stuff scrolling beneath a video of impossibly wounded children in some overwhelmed hospital somewhere.
Karine does look good in her rain gear. Pathetically fallacious?
What if this pathetic fallacy business is the other way round?
That is, the pathetic weather makes us fallacious, not we who fallaciously make the weather pathetic. That is, the breaking sunlight carves the smile from Karine’s pathetic rictus. That is, a warming breeze across my stiff back informs my fallacious adoration of an aging woman’s worry-gnarled claws.
Lately – I don’t read newspapers, so I don’t really know why – I have been interested in what a takeover of power by Know-nothing national-racial bully boys might be like. Sebastien Haffner, a man born in Germany in 1910, had the karmic privilege of getting his Aryan nose rubbed in Hitler’s shit from 1933 to 1938. He writes about this in a book called Defying Hitler.
Apparently, the experience is just as you might imagine and no fun at all.
Haffner intimates that the splendid weather of 1933 smoothed the path of “National coordination” – the set up of a general system of terrorization, intimidation, confiscation and institutional cooptation, with a special focus on selected groups, such as Jews.
Haffner describes, for example, a mid-May smooching idyll with a girlfriend in the Berlin Tiergarten.
Flopped in the sweet grass and in plain view, he says the anti-Semitic calumnies hooted by passing hikers touched the couple hardly at all. Partly, he says, they were already inured to gratuitous insult (after fewer than three months of bully-boy rule!). Partly, he says, it was the splendid weather.
His observation is that in making the whole natural world perfect, the weather made all the mean-spirited menace seem just, well, impossible. Shades of Wordsworth!
Remember, Haffner is writing before bits of catastrophe scrolling out an endless stream of constructible, shareable, delusion was a feature of every public place on earth!
The pathetic fallacy is true science: our pitiful human condition is contingent on the whims of weather phenomena. Frankly, I am glad to be quit of the responsibility.
In a digital age such as ours and with a googletruth at the tip of any finger, a test of the pathetic fallacy is surely in order!
It has stopped raining.
The bloated Venusian clouds continue to roil across the whited sky. When it peeks out, a hot sun can now sear away accumulated humidity.
According to the forecast, this state of affairs, punctuated by storms, is to continue indefinitely.
In these days, when my eyes open to luminous blue, I feel quite giddy. The light is like a puff of laughing gas right up a stuffy beezer: such contrast, such relief, makes me hilarious. I pull on a muscle shirt and soldier forward under Sol’s happy gaze.
Opening her own peepers to these same glowing heavens, Karine has no thought to put on her floofy skirt. This year it’s a sort of flaring thing, not-quite-below-the-knee, made of stiff material that I think of as “taffeta”, without actually knowing what “taffeta” might be, but it’s apparently sensitive to raindrops.
Karine has been cruelly climatically betrayed more than once these past weeks of June and May. A little morning sun isn’t going to dissipate weeks of quiet desperation. This is a solid enfant of the French working class: prim, cautious, tightlipped, risk-averse, pettifogging prudence is a Gallic birthright not rendered for the prospect of looking good in a floofy skirt on a late June afternoon.
She slips on a cotton dress from the resale shop.
Blessed silence will settle over the political nation from the 1st of July, when vacation begins and our old friend Ricard reveals the wisdoms to cling to at the Rentrée, the first weeks of September.
Until then, the rolling strikes and demonstrations around the reform of the labor law (called the Loi El-Khomri, after the Labor Minister), which began in March, will continue under the un-summery sky; also the Brits vote on EU secession on Thursday, 245th. Who wins and who loses in the El-Khomri struggle will determine the balance of political power on the left and then through the whole political system in the next elections and looking forward. Hold your breaths. The result of the British EU exit referendum will determine European politics for the foreseeable future. Hold your breaths.
So, what will the pathetic fallacy phenomenon (it’s scientific now, so a “phenomenon”) do to the results of these human phenomena?
Will a giddy CGT flip flip to the right for a great melding of corporatist national socialists, agreeing to get in bed (bbbrrrrrr, shudder) with the egregious Marine Lepen? Or will a glass of commercially fermented anis seed, not too diluted, suffice such a pyrrhic political victory?
If the English push Britain out of the EU, will France and Germany take giddy revenge or demonstrate a wait-and-see prudence? Cotton dress from the resale shop? Floofy taffeta skirt flung hard from the 10th floor window?
When the facts are in, you tell me what the weather is and I’ll predict something both pathetic and fallacious at only a small service charge, plus VAT.