Friday at six, martinis straight up with olives. Plymouth or Hendricks. Tanqueray for JA; Bombay for Jim Tate ("lower proof so I can drink more of them"). A couple of eye drop's worth of dry vermouth, preferably Noilly Prat. Mucho hielo. Shake vigorously in a pickle jar. Yes, I know that shaking as opposed to stirring risks "bruising" the gin, and also that you slightly dilute the end product, and frankly my dear I don't give a damn. I like drinking the thing in a y-shaped glass with a floating island of chipped ice on top.
And then we talk.
Ashbery walks in, sees me, sidles up, whispers in my ear, "I hear that John Ashbery is at this party."
Marshall McLuhan comes over and says that Obama is the "coolest" US president since JFK. The "hot" presidents were LBJ, Nixon, and Clinton. Carter was neutral. Reagan was "warm." W was mildly cool but only in relation to Al Gore in earth-tone garb.
Woody Allen looks down at the floor as he plays Cole Porter on his clarinet. He is really a very modest fellow.
Kim Novak doesn't have to act. All she has to do is stand there. Ditto Robert Taylor.
The waiter brings over a tray full of Algonquin cocktails. Since I have no pineapple juice, freshly pressed or otherwise, I have to substitute grapefruit juice, and the rye runs out so I use Canadian Club in honor of Don Draper, as follows: one and a half jiggers whiskey, one jigger Noilly Prat dry vermouth, one jigger of grapefruit juice, times two, shaken. "Delicious," Stacey says.
Judy Garland sings: "Our love affair will be such fun, / We'll be the envy of everyone. / Those famous lovers we'll make them forget / From Adam and Eve to Scarlett and Rhett." Lyrics by Arthur Freed, music by Roger Edens.
Jack Benny says "I'm thinking" after a long pause following the menacing question, "your money or your life?"
John Ashbery says that "Jack Benny was my role model."
Jack Benny reminds us that he was born on Valentine's Day. I give him a copy of Self-Portrait in a Coinvex Mirror. He says, "I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."
In the works are three doctoral dissertations on JA in relation to Mr. Benny's radio show. "Anyone who would understand Ashbery's poetry had better listen to the radio shows of the early 1940s," says Professor McGuffin with the authority of Jacques Barzun on the subject of baseball.
I just thought of a skit featuring Danny Kaye and Bob Hope -- an abbreviated version of Kafka's The Trial, with Kaye in the lead role. Kaye says he has goine from being Davi Kaminsky in Brooklyn to Josef K. in Prague via the dancing feet, sweet voice, and comic brilliance of the greatest of all Borscht Belt geniuses. Kaye say he is looking for justice and Hope says he is looking for a war to visit. One of them will have to wait for a long time. Thanks for the memory, Bob. You don't deserve to be dismissed, ignored or recalled with a patronizing sneer, but that's the Zeitgeist for you.
Ashbery says he and Frank O'Hara saw On the Town, the movie, one holiday night and they loved it so much they went on to walk to the Brooklyn Bridge and strill across it. I love it, too, though I can't understand why they left out some of the greatest Bernstein songs ("Some Other Time," "Lucky To Be Me," "Lonely Town") and it's a shame they changed "a helluva town" to "a wonderful town," the town being New York City.
Joni James sings "As Time Goes By." Here's to you, Herman Hupfeld, alias Dodie (to his friends), who wrote both the words and the music. "Moonlight and love songs never out of date, hearts full of passion, jealousy and hate / Woman needs man and must have his mate."
Vivien Leigh says "tomorrow is another day."
And we're all here to toast you, J. A. . -- DL
[From the Archives, originally posted September 28, 2012, revised July 28, 2017]
...and from the looks of the glass, mcluhan is drinking either a gin and tonic or a glass of water (if the party's really at frank's place, it would be at least a leaded glass glass) ....and frank's always attached cigarette is smoking away. just never see much of such style anymore. there's a way in which a gesture is no gesture, no style, without a cigarette in hand...is there music playing on the hi-fi...??
Posted by: bill | September 29, 2012 at 10:27 AM
Great post. I always loved Jack Benny. And Jimmy Durante. And John Ashbery. And drinking. And Mickey Rooney (Scottish; real name: Joe Yule; cf. Joe Christmas). And so forth.
Posted by: Terence Winch | November 07, 2015 at 09:32 AM
Wow, I did not know that shaking as opposed to stirring risks "bruising" the gin, and also that you slightly dilute the end product. Now I know how to order or take my cocktails
Posted by: Mart Bandee | December 15, 2016 at 06:23 AM