327: My socks do match—they’re just not identical.
328: Two movies in which Robert Redford has a one-item, no-preparation, hand-held meal:
All the President’s Men: Cellophane-wrapped grocery counter pastry.
Brubaker: Chunk of raw cabbage.
329: If criminals really could turn themselves into the police they’d get away with almost anything.
330: Mr. Honeywell, meet Mr. Todd
331: From childhood through college I had a habit of playing with the hair behind my right ear. Playing doesn’t do it justice: I did masterful manipulations, curling my hair into satisfying textures. One day in a college class, a voice behind me said, “Stop it. You’ve got to stop it.” I did—forever. Now my habit is to manipulate words into satisfying textures, and I sometimes hear that voice: “Stop it. You’ve got to stop it.” I won't—ever.
332: Mr. Honeywell and Mr. Todd, meet Mr. Dithers.
333: When I was five, I was in the Peanut Gallery of The Howdy Doody Show. Buffalo Bob promised us a gift after the show if we behaved. I imagined perhaps a Mr. Bluster figure (I had to wait for Ebay to get one). But it was just a candy bar from a sponsor.Recently, I realized there must be archival clips from the Howdy Doody Show and maybe I could spot myself. I went through the openings of several shows (smirking like a kid when Buffalo Bob addressed "Mr. Doody"), and there I was, a tad awkward with absolutely no idea that the future me would one day be watching. But was it really me? Erin said no, but she didn't know me then. I sent the clip to my sister, who also said no, but had evidence: "I was sitting next to you." I was most disappointed, until I watched again, imagining it as a clip from the bio-pic of my life, with an actor who would be billed as "Alan at Age 5."
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