I sold a Miro painting for a rich guy
That was basically a big number 68
And oddly enough it sold for about
68,000 so I got a nice finder’s fee
But it would sell for even more now.
My friend Dennis had this hot
New babe Kaia who wanted the
Finer things in life so he asked
Me did I know anybody that was
Selling a Picasso or whatnot.
Dennis was the kind of guy that
When we were at the race track
And he went to pee he came back
With ice cream cones for everybody
And he did a lot of stuff like that.
Many people carry guns but Dennis
Was the only guy I’ve known who
Carried a gun with a silencer but
I never saw him actually take it out
Nor did I see him lose his temper.
We went every week to a bar by
Grand Avenue to settle up our
Sports bets and once we came in
And a lowlife mope said to Dennis
You bastard you owe me money.
It was kind of a tense moment except
Dennis handled it with great aplomb
By asking the mope in a calm voice
How much do I owe you and the mope
Said 200 so Dennis just gave it to him.
When we were outside the bar a guy
Named Jimmy who was with us asked
Why he gave money to the mope and
Dennis said emphatically that it was
Worth his 200 to be rid of the mope.
He said how Joey The Clown Lombardo,
Joey Aiuppa, John No Nose DiFronzo,
Those guys owed him favors and with
One phone call the mope would be in
A trunk at O’Hare long-term parking.
But he stated that he was not a thug
So 200 to get rid of the mope was
A small price which I attributed to
The influence of Kaia who certainly
Would disapprove of any violence.
Meanwhile I happened to know a guy
Who wanted to sell a Matisse drawing
So Dennis and I went over to look at it,
A big drawing of a woman in charcoal
Or something hanging there on the wall.
The guy had an impressive art collection
But for some reason he wished to get rid
Of the Matisse which actually looked like
Something that could have been drawn
By a six-year old. He wanted 35,000.
Dennis handled it with great aplomb
Except I knew he was thinking how
A six-year old could have drawn it or
He could even draw one himself and
Who would be the wiser? But no.
Down in the car we giggled about it.
35,000 just to fuck Kaia he laughed
As much later I would laugh at myself
When I didn’t know or care how much
Krista took me for and she broke me.
