Bernard Welt: Pick of the Week [ed. Terence Winch]

photo by Arthur Gary

___________________________________________________________________________

Sabbatical

for Doug Lang

 

We hear tales of a wonderful country called Wales

Only Wales is wholly imaginary, like Middle Earth

Or the Starfleet Academy

There is no holiday called Christmas

Children do not exist

 

Humans have as yet failed to discover

A reliable means of reproducing their kind

Except in elaborate fictions—a kind of imitation of life

Lana Turner has not collapsed, at least not yet

 

There was no ancient mariner

And he never stopped anybody

All the world is not a stage

Some people actually are islands

The world is not too much with us

 

All happy families are not alike

I know whether I am the hero of my own story

I think I am extremely likely to see

A poem lovely as a tree

I do not celebrate myself or sing myself

There is not much of me

And I don’t taste all that good

 

This not the saddest story I have ever heard

I am not a parcel of vain strivings tied

By a chance bond together

Although I admit it must look that way sometimes

I did not place that jar in Tennessee

I didn’t eat the plums

 

In the beginning God did not create anything

This is not Illyria, lady

The answer is not blowing in the wind

You are not my funny valentine

Fish do not gotta swim, birds do not gotta fly

 

‘Twas not brillig

Lafayette, we are not here

I do not want you green

 

I do not wander lonely as a cloud

If clouds really are all that lonely

I took the road everybody else takes

And it hasn’t made any difference at all

A thing of beauty is not a joy forever

I don’t have to go down to the sea again

The sea is not calm tonight

I don’t remember

 ________________________________________________________________________________________________

Bernard Welt is the author of Serenade (Z Press), and poetry in journals including The Antioch Review, Sun & Moon, Little Caesar, and Z, as well as of Mythomania: Fantasies, Fables, and Sheer Lies in Contemporary American Popular Art (Art issues Press). His poem, “I stopped writing poetry . . .” appeared in The Best American Poetry 2001 (Robert Hass, ed., New York: Scribner, 2001).

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Comments

[Casey Smith]

Such a fun and funny poem, thanks!

[The Best American Poetry]

Way to go, Bernie. For you on honeydew have not fed, nor drunk the milk of paradise. -- DL

[John Clayton]

Brilliant!

[Beth Joselow]

I feel lucky to have heard Bernard read this poem last fall. It is superb, and has come to my mind very often since then. So glad to see it here.

[Grace Cavalieri]

Bernard has always been the gold standard.His intelligence, humor and surprise will knock me out every time. It has done this to me for years.

[Christopher J Mason]

One of my favorite poems! Thank you for posting it!

[Terence Winch]

Thanks, Chris. It's a favorite of mine, too.

[Terence Winch]

Yes---Bernard is a gem.

[Terence Winch]

That was a great reading by Bernard. I remember not liking that I had to follow him.

[Bill Nevins]

This poem is even more lovely than a Redwood tree. There, I said it, and I am standing by my words. My new favorite poem, even better than Prufrock!

[Bernard Welt]

Thank you, Bill. I've always felt that on a good day, I could out-Prufrock Prufrock.

[Bernard Welt]

Aw, very kind, Chris. Very kind Terence too.

[Bernard Welt]

Why, Grace Cavalieri! I might have to have this embroidered on a sampler -- to weep into during those low moments . . . xo

[Bernard Welt]

Aw gosh. Thank you. I'm glad people are liking it.

[Bernard Welt]

Sez who?
Thank you for this, DL. I'm just sending some poems out for the first time in years, so the timing is great. And I really DO read the site :-)

[Bernard Welt]

I'm a fun and funny guy.

[Bernard Welt]

Thank you. It was a great event. We need another. XO B

[David Beaudouin]

Dear Bernard:

I love this poem's wit and its nod to JB in the last line. More, please! And thanks to Terence for choosing it.

[David Beaudouin]

Heh!

[Ellen Maidman-Tanner]

I never wrote this. But I like the poem. 😏

[Terence Winch]

You're welcome, Mr. Beaudouin.

[Lorenzo Cardim]

It’s uncanny how this reminds me of Doug Lang and his lovely acerbity. This is truly lovely. Thank you!

[Patrick Clancy]

Brings to mind the name of Marty Stuart's band - the Fabulous Superlatives. And they, too, can make me laugh out loud.

Bernard, thanks for this (and for the dedication to Doug Lang).

Terry, thanks for selecting this.

Patrick Clancy

[Bernard Welt]

And thank *you*, Patrick.

[Bernard Welt]

Thank you :-)