The Girls Began Speaking Pig Latin
When the girls began speaking Pig Latin
On the school bus I saw the pleasure
Women discover in a secret language
And more importantly I understood how
Learning Pig Latin could be a shibboleth
Opening the door to love! Yes, love,
Whereas sex such as it was existed
Only as the Playboy pictures furtively
Hidden under a mattress until one day
Torn up and flushed down the toilet for
The awful shame of it. Ethay answeryay
Asway igpay atinlay andyay ohyay odgay
Iyay iedtray. Oh God, I've tried but I failed,
Andyay isyay ityay ownay ootay atelay?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eWlAkAJUOc&fbclid=IwAR2ObTAEZ-03EkhT8d9xX9Ak76EPR3sVNFcvXorJlHmrGLrHxEZ45rWvvMs
F. Compton R. Buzzard
Apropos my field of ancient Egypt
I refer to her as Queen Nefertari or
Mut The Sky Goddess in my texts
When the colloquium brings me
Down to New Haven each week
And she replies with her cutesy Bear
Moniker as in Missing You Now Bear,
Loving You Bear, Lonely Tonight Bear,
Or Horny & Bare Bear which gives me
A laugh but oh my goodness we have
Such a paucity of common ground:
That is to say, I more or less inhabit
The 19th Dynasty while she is purely
This lively and delightful quotidian girl.
Sigh! Recently she has downloaded
Hieroglyphs for Complete Beginners
From Amazon -- but for goodness' sake
That will never get her through a papyrus.
Helen of Starbucks
Hi everybody! Let's look at that scene in
The Iliad where some old Trojan warriors
Passing time on the city wall gaze upon
Helen, the world's most beautiful woman.
She won't even give them the time of day
And the old war horses wax philosophical
Because what the hell else can they do?
Goddamn it, if you get past the age of 75
Or 80 it's like you don't even exist anymore
In the eyes of the young gal serving coffee
At Starbucks so when you tell her you knew
Milton Berle it's like speaking Chinese!
God forbid you mention the names of
Ben Blue or Slapsie Maxie Rosenbloom!
Antasticfay. Itchmay Isskindsay's oemepays ockray.
Posted by: Ijay Ewnhamay | January 22, 2021 at 07:12 PM