The Ballad of the Lonely Masturbator
The end of the affair is always death.
She’s my workshop. Slippery eye,
out of the tribe of myself my breath
finds you gone. I horrify
those who stand by. I am fed.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.
Finger to finger, now she’s mine.
She’s not too far. She’s my encounter.
I beat her like a bell. I recline
in the bower where you used to mount her.
You borrowed me on the flowered spread.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.
Take for instance this night, my love,
that every single couple puts together
with a joint overturning, beneath, above,
the abundant two on sponge and feather,
kneeling and pushing, head to head.
At night alone, I marry the bed.
I break out of my body this way,
an annoying miracle. Could I
put the dream market on display?
I am spread out. I crucify.
My little plum is what you said.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.
Then my black-eyed rival came.
The lady of water, rising on the beach,
a piano at her fingertips, shame
on her lips and a flute’s speech.
And I was the knock-kneed broom instead.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.
She took you the way a woman takes
a bargain dress off the rack
and I broke the way a stone breaks.
I give back your books and fishing tack.
Today’s paper says that you are wed.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.
The boys and girls are one tonight.
They unbutton blouses. They unzip flies.
They take off shoes. They turn off the light.
The glimmering creatures are full of lies.
They are eating each other. They are overfed.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.
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Anne Sexton studied with the poet Robert Lowell at Boston University and also worked as a model and a librarian. Although she had written some poetry in childhood, it was not until the later 1950s that she began to write seriously. Her first book, To Bedlam and Part Way Back, was published in 1960. The book won immediate attention because of the intensely personal and relentlessly honest self-revelatory nature of the poems recording her nervous breakdown and recovery. Their imagery was frequently brilliant, and their tone was both sardonic and vulnerable. Her second book of poems, All My Pretty Ones (1962), continued in the vein of uncompromising self-exploration. Live or Die (1966), a further record of emotional illness, won a Pulitzer Prize and was followed by, among others, Love Poems (1969), Transformations (1971), The Book of Folly (1972), and The Death Notebooks (1974). Sexton taught at Boston University in 1970–71 and at Colgate University in 1971–72. She also wrote a number of children’s books with her close friend, poet Maxine Kumin. Sexton died by her own hand on Oct. 4th, 1974. The Awful Rowing Toward God (1975), 45 Mercy Street (1976, edited by her daughter, Linda Gray Sexton), and Uncollected Poems with Three Stories (1978) were published posthumously. Anne Sexton: A Self-Portrait in Letters, edited by Lois Ames and Linda Gray Sexton, was published in 1977 and No Evil Star: Selected Essays, Interviews, and Prose in 1985. [from the Encyclopaedia Britannica]
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Many thanks, dear Terence, for extending the "pick of the week" idea retrospectively. This is quite a striking poem, and while the word "masturbator" in the title of a poem may make some of us recoil, there's no doubting the strength of the opening ("The end of the affair is always death. / She’s my workshop") or the growing power of the refrain as one half of a closing couplet: "Today’s paper says that you are wed. / At night, alone, I marry the bed." Anne Sexton is a poet whose work repays rereading.
Posted by: David Lehman | October 08, 2021 at 01:39 PM
Thanks, David. My interest in Sexton was re-kindled by a book I read last year called
The Equivalents: A Story of Art, Female Friendship, and Liberation in the 1960s by Maggie Doherty. She focuses a great deal of the book on the relationship between Sexton and Maxine Kumin. Sexton is a fascinating person and excellent poet. It was fun to rediscover her and her writing.
Posted by: Terence Winch | October 08, 2021 at 03:02 PM
I’ve read every poem by Anne Sexton, and while this shows her 150-proof self-revelatory, it reads more like any poet would/could write while on Thorazine. She’s amazing and her poetry on myths break barriers for all women. My favourite poem of hers is Pain for a Daughter. The poetic quality puts her on par with Plath and is much better than Lowel: the tree of them were forerunners to the personal as universal and opened the door to witness writing seen as profound and historical. I like this choice though because writing with mental illness is extremely difficult to maintain and the McLean hospital group quit life before they ever quit words - the gift that’s eternal.
Posted by: Maria | October 08, 2021 at 07:45 PM
Thanks for that knowledgeable and insightful comment.
Posted by: Terence Winch | October 08, 2021 at 08:04 PM
I knew Anne well and had the pleasure of working with her for several years. She had a wonderful sense of humor and a belly laugh. She was an accomplished formalist and a lover of music. She's often grouped with Plath and Lowell, but she was sui generis. I seriously doubt that either of them could have produced her "Transformations," an adventure into surrealist poetry, a nifty collaboration with Barbara Swan, highly praised by Kurt Vonnegut in his introduction. If you ever get the chance, enjoy Conrad Susa's opera based on the book. She also performed for three years with her "chamber rock" band, Anne Sexton & Her Kind, to which college students flocked. I understand that students still love her work, a good sign that she'll be a literary survivor. She wrote too many great poems to be ignored.
Posted by: Robert J. Clawson | October 09, 2021 at 02:06 AM
Thanks for the comment. I think you're right---her poems have great staying power.
Posted by: Terence Winch | October 09, 2021 at 09:05 AM
I taught "Transformations" several times in my creative writing courses as well as "The Awful Rowing" to undergraduates. Sexton was always a hit. New readers benefit when her work is given some context to introduce it.
Posted by: Peter Fortunato | October 09, 2021 at 07:39 PM