"I Meant To" [by Michael Lally]

I meant to put those
sixty-three names
and email addresses
in the BCC blind copy
space, not the CC 
copy space. I meant to

send it to him, not her.
I meant to swallow not
drool, on the computer,
my lap, your sleeve, my
arm, the floor, that first
edition, in the drawer.

I meant to walk and
move with that feline
grace someone once
said I had, not wobble
and stagger like an
old wino. I meant to

hit the “y” not the “t”
the “h” not the “g”
the “b” not the “v”,
return not send,
amends not amen.
I meant to stand up

straight not bend, to
sit upright not slouch,
to not fall down and
get stuck between the
couch and a hot pipe
that burned my back

like the prolonged
sting of a fierce slap.
I meant to stay twenty-
nine or forty-nine, not
be seventy-nine turn-
ing eighty in May this

way, drooling and
stumbling and un-
able to make a fist
with my right hand
or grasp a utensil in
the proper way but

instead need foam
additions to the
handles for my one
or two fingers that
can still curl without
help. I meant to be

the exception to
obviously aging or
a long gone legend
by now not a bent
over drooling old
man who still often

feels like a woman
inside but I’ll accept
what I’m left with for
as long as I can and
still be grateful for all
that I’ve been and am.

C) 2021 Michael Lally

Comments

[Anne Harding Woodworth]

“I meant to be / the exception.” Full stop.

[Suzanne Lummis]

Oh, I like this poem -- I want to share it to my Facebook page. In fact, I will. Who's going to stop me?

[Terence Winch]

I love this poem, quintessential Lally.

[Indran Amirthanayagam]

Nichael Lally you have written the future but you survive, even thrive despite the evidence in your testimony. Fine poem. Indran Amirthanayagam (Editor, publisher www.beltwayeditions.com)

[David Schloss]

Dear Michael, It's been a long time since I've seen you, but if you still look like that photo, you're doing fine. Charming cry in the face of againg and death.

[Grace Cavalieri]

I loved hearing this read by Michael, himself, at the Michael fete. I'll share with our poetry group who will be studying The Lally "COLLECTED POEMS" next month.

[Simon Schuchat]

Terrific poem!

[Vincent Katz]

This is a beautiful poem Michael! It is brave and poignant, like all your work, and at the same, again like all your work, you let your musicality take the guiding role; you turn lament into song. Thanks and bravo!

[lally]

thanks for the generous comments, and as for the photo, if only

[David Beaudouin]

As usual, Michael, you rock the page. Thanks!

[Michael O'Keefe]

So good. Classic 'Lal.

[Clarinda harriss]

Oh. As Ab octogenerianette I really relate. I love ally’s work and I love this poem.the latter feels almost like loving myself.

[Elaine M Johnson]

So there you are... I remember Iowa City, 1979. So long ago...

[Chris Mason]

What a great poem! It swings with feline grace!

[Gerald Fleming]

Man, brings me back to those Catholic days: "through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault..." Great Confiteor of aging, Michael Lally. (Yet undaunted.)

[Summer Brenner]

Wry, generous, and sweet, a wonderful poem.

[Beth Joselow]

Another fine Lally guide to living, with swing in its step. Love!

[Dona Pinger]

Michael Lally… I always knew you were exceptional as a person when we first met… I have always known that you stood apart from the herd. I want to take this time to tell you that you matter to me… you count… you are missed… and… you are loved!🥺❤️🙏 Happy New Year! 🎆🎈🎉🎊🥳Dona

[Mim Kohn]

Ahhh…. Michael…. How very much I L♥️Ve you - as you are… who you are…

And how very much you show me me…. and how much I have to learn from you in the Graciousness of Living….

My Heart 💜 and Soul thank you more than I have words for/know words to say.

You Live in My Heart ♥️

[Michael Harris]

You did, you are, no matter what you say or how you feel….you achieved the exception. In spite of… everything. Made it look like falling out of a chair while growing into a man.

[lally]

wow, you're all too kind, but thanks for all the love, which is always the answer for me to whatever quandary I'm facing, not so much getting it as giving it

[Don Berger]

Wonderful poem—great movement, fullest heart, tautness, wisdom. Life loves this poem for its capacity to show us a new, full-throttle take on how and what we do here on earth. I wish I’d heard Michael read it!

[Mindy Fullilove]

Exactly!

[Bob Holman]

Michael, the crowd is roaring! whyn't you post a reading of "I Meant To" someplace so we can get it up close and personal?
Big Love

[DALE HERD]

Sense of humor supreme. Laughter is the only stone that dulls the edge of the scythe.