Memories of Richard Howard [by Jim Cummins]

I had a funny "causerie" moment with Richard.  Sheila Guckenberger brought her daughter, Kristin, to the event and then left her with me in the office; Kristin was six.  That was okay until Kristin had to go to the bathroom.  So she and I sneaked out the back door and she went to the bathroom.  Now this was in the days before voicemail, so I had an answering machine hooked up to the Elliston line.  Dan Barth called about softball in the middle of R's talk, and though Dan NEVER DID THIS BEFORE OR AFTER, he thought it would be funny to leave a message in the voice of "Benny," the mentally-challenged mail clerk on LA LAW.  So Dan does this grossly "retarded" voice on the machine, goes on and on with it, and his voice resounds throughout the whole Elliston Room.  t some point -- Kristin and I are still in the hall -- Richard gets up, never stops talking, walks over to the ER office and slams the door shut.  People said he really slammed it, too.  Anyway, Kristin and I try to sneak back in, only to find the ER door locked when I turn the handle, so I bump up against the door and Kristin bumps up against me.  I have this six-year-old in tow who's talking in a normal voice while I'm fumbling with the keys to unlock the door and whispering "Sh-h" to her.  Richard never stops talking while everyone is giggling and he's glaring at my back trying to poke holes in it with that laser vision he used when he held up his monocle.  Great story, starting the next day.

 

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Richard never got mad at me; he knew I was a doofus who meant well.  Once, I was over at his place near the old Clifton post office and he was sitting on the couch across from me.  His little pug dog, Maude, got up on the back of the couch and began licking every inch of Richard's bald head.  Richard never moved except to incline his head occasionally so Maude could reach an unlicked part.  It went on for at least ten minutes.  Richard had started his new Proust translation and was 70 pages into it, so the NY Times mag did a feature story on it.  The story featured a two-page full-color picture of Richard reclining on a couch with Maude.  As Maude was finishing up his scalp, Richard asked what did I think of the picture of him and Maude in the Times.  I said it looked like a still for a new movie, "Howard and Maude."  He just said, "Not funny, dear," and we moved on. 

 

So many stories.  What can I say?  He was a big deal in my life.  -- JC

 

Photo  credit: Bill Hayward.

Comments

[David Schloss]

I think Howard and Maude IS funny. But I generally really respect Richard's fine tastes in things.