___________________________________________________________________________________________
82 Sentences, Each Taken from the ‘Last Statement’ of a Person Executed by the State of Texas Since 1984
Um, I don’t know what to say. I am not as strong as I thought I was going to be, but I guess it
only hurts for a little while. I sat in my cell many days wondering what my last words would be.
I’m not going to shout, use profanity, or make idle threats. I am not going to play a part in my
own murder, no one should have to do that. Can you hear me? This here is a tragedy. They are
fixing to pump my veins with a lethal drug the American Veterinary Association won’t even
allow to be used on dogs. I should not have to be here. I’m not a killer. I know how it look but I
didn’t do it. I didn’t kill my wife. I did not kill those drug dealers. I did not murder your loved one.
I am sure he died unjustly, just like I am. I have done everything to prove my innocence.
If I am paying my debt to society, I am due a rebate and a refund. Everybody has problems.
I allowed the devil to rule my life. I was a kid in a grown man’s world. I was sick, afraid, and l
looking for love in all the wrong ways. I messed up, made poor choices. But I am not guilty of
this crime. I don’t think the world will be a better or safer place without me. I hereby protest
my pending execution. There are a lot of things that are not right in this world, I have had to
overcome them myself. You know this ain’t right. I don’t know why all of this happened. I just
played the hand that life dealt me. I understand that you wanted this day to come, you got
what you wanted. I’m sure you think this is wonderful in your eyes. If this takes the pain away,
so be it. Whatever makes y’all happy. I know you believe that you’re going to have closure.
The truth is that you are going to feel empty after tonight. A revenge death won’t get you anything.
Sooner or later every one of y’all will be along behind me. You will answer to your Maker when
God has found out that you executed an innocent man. I wouldn’t wish this on you. I forgive all y’all.
It is all part of life, like a big full plate of food for the soul. Tell everyone I got full on
chicken and pork chops. I am going to miss those pancakes and those old-time black-and-white shows.
Sometimes it works out like this. I would like to tell my wife that I love her and thank her
for all the years of happiness. I don’t want to leave you baby, see you when you get there.
To my kids, stand tall and continue to make me proud. Don’t fight with each other. I know this is
hard for y’all, but we are going to have to go through it. Don’t cry, it’s my situation. I’ll be fine.
I won’t have to wake up in prison anymore. Don’t be angry at what is happening to me. Enjoy
life’s moments because we never get them back. Yesterday was my birthday. Ain’t life a bitch?
Where’s my stunt double when you need one? Oh, Lord. I am going home. I might have lost the
fight but I’m still a soldier. I am taking it like a man, like a warrior. Preparest a table before
me in the presence of my enemies. Tell them I finished strong. Death before dishonor. With this let
all debts be paid that I owed, real or imagined. Lord, send me a chariot. Hallelujah, holy, holy,
holy. I guess that’s it. It’s my hour. Only the sky and the green grass goes on forever. I’m done.
I have come here today to die, not make speeches. Warden, if you are going to murder
someone, go ahead and do it, pull the trigger. Let’s give them what they want. I’m ready when
y’all are. Are they already doing it? I can feel it, taste it. My left arm is killing me, it hurts bad.
Let me know that I will be in Heaven tonight, please let me know, I don’t want to be in Hell
with Satan or anyone else, please, that is something I need to know. I am starting to go. I am going
to sleep now. Begins singing: Amazing Grace.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Joe Kloc is a Senior Editor at Harper’s Magazine. His first book, Lost at Sea: Poverty and Paradise Collide at the Edge of America, will be published in April. ["82 Sentences, Each Taken from the 'Last Statement' of a Person Executed by the State of Texas Since 1984" originally appeared in the Sept. 19th, 2024, issue of the New York Review of Books.]
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Death row inmate Kevin Cooper's painting, It’s a Generation Thing in America.
KLOC is powerful and effective.
a haiku:
the death row prisoner
eats ice-cream
slowly.
Posted by: Grace Cavalieri | October 27, 2024 at 11:37 AM
"I forgive all y’all.
It is all part of life, like a big full plate of food for the soul."
Chilling and eloquent.
As Pierce Turner has said, "Tell everybody I'm going away for ten yeas. I'm going to wander amont the Wicklow hills."
Stop this murdering!
Posted by: Bill Nevins | October 27, 2024 at 11:39 AM
This gut wrenching collage disturbs me so much I have to pause reading and then return to it. That’s what poetry can do—as well as Testifying. In my decades of working with prison writers at MHC I spent a lot of time “inside,” with lifers, not those on death row. I couldn’t have done it. I laud the poet and the speakers and you, Terence.
Posted by: Clarinda Harriss | October 27, 2024 at 11:40 AM
wow
Posted by: lally | October 27, 2024 at 11:40 AM
What Clarinda said. There is so much obvious cruelty in the world right now, this was a difficult piece to take on—and all the more important to read. “A revenge death won’t get you anything” should be written across the sky. Thank you, Joe and Terence. (And thanks also to Grace for the keenly felt haiku.)
Posted by: David Beaudouin | October 27, 2024 at 12:11 PM
David---thanks for the comment.
Posted by: Terence Winch | October 27, 2024 at 01:38 PM
Thanks for the comment, Clarinda.
Posted by: Terence Winch | October 27, 2024 at 02:54 PM
"Warden, if you are going to murder someone, go ahead and do it, pull the trigger" says it all for me. When will the crime of capital punishment end?
Posted by: Anne Harding Woodworth | October 27, 2024 at 03:07 PM
Astonishing.
Posted by: Gerald Fleming | October 27, 2024 at 03:39 PM
This is a powerful poem. The artwork of the prison and also the three generations of people incarcerated depict a sad legacy. This poem touched my heart.
Posted by: Eileen Reich | October 27, 2024 at 04:19 PM
And everyone & I stopped breathing.
Posted by: Elinor Nauen | October 27, 2024 at 04:33 PM
Here is proof that you can create a powerful poem by assembling it, not writing it.
Posted by: Geoffrey Himes | October 28, 2024 at 07:47 AM
This poem has haunted me all week-since I read it on Sunday morning. Such a sad and profound and brilliant poem.
Posted by: Nin Andrews | November 01, 2024 at 01:47 PM
So moving, so essential...thanks for highlighting!
Posted by: Dwaine Rieves | November 02, 2024 at 10:29 AM