The Words of Duke Rhino
1.
Never in his life had he said ipso facto
Nor quid est demonstratum had he
Ever spoken but one time he said viz.
It was after a night of smelt fishing
When we were just laying about and
He said to me, "When I was young
"I planned to snabble 1000 women
"Viz, Flo Eubanks, Karen Rozanski,
"Tina West, but I quit after 700 when
"I could not remember their names."
That was the only time he said viz.
As long as I knew him but one time
He said in toto about the smelt when
He said, "How many smelt in toto?
2.
He used to say things of that nature
And he also said and stuff that way
At the end of many sentences like
If he said, "Baseball, football, and
"Things of that nature" or if he said,
"It gets clogged up and polluted
"And stuff that way." Oh, he said
Things of that nature and stuff
That way so much that I started
Keeping track of which one he
Said more and it turned out that
Things of that nature won the prize
So to speak and he actually said
So to speak quite often as well.
3.
Often he spoke euphemistically about
Going to the bathroom like if we were
In the company of ladies he would say
"I have got to see a man about a dog"
Whereupon he would excuse himself
From the table or wherever it was.
He would say whipping your mule
If the subject of male self-gratification
Arose and he liked to say that he had
Achieved coitus rather than employ
One of the long-worn-out vulgarities;
But once when a guy said the beast
With two backs Duke Rhino put him
Into next Wednesday for saying that
(The picture above is a self-portrait by Edward Hopper)
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