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Denise Duhamel

"I Love Sex in All its Forms" [poem by Denise Duhamel]

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When Denise Duhamel checked her spam folder for the first time in years, she found that so many women, mistaking her for a heterosexual man, had been leaving her messages. When she saw the subject heading “I LOVE SEX IN ALL ITS FORMS,” she immediately thought of her favorite poetry form, the “pantoum.” Here is a found pantoum from her new book Second Story (University of Pittsburgh Press).

“I LOVE SEX IN ALL ITS FORMS”
                    --Spam email from Mindy

Hi big guy. I’m lonely and wet.
Being in love—a blessing or a curse?
My boner brew will make you a better screw.
I just added three new naked photos.

Being in love—a blessing or a curse?
Text me. I guarantee we’ll have a blast!
I just added three new naked photos.
Want to hear me talk dirty in my luscious British accent?

Text me. I guarantee we’ll have a blast!
What should I do? I’m married but only want you!
Want to hear me talk dirty in my luscious British accent?
Need a hot date with a sexy lady?

What should I do? I’m married but only want you!
We don’t have to explain ourselves to anyone.
Need a hot date with a sexy lady?
I’m gorgeous and only 2.8 miles away.

We don’t have to explain ourselves to anyone.
Are you man enough to rock my world?
I’m gorgeous and only 2.8 miles away.
Here are some other girls you might like.

Are you man enough to rock my world?
I’ll prove to you we’re the perfect match.
Here are some other girls you might like.
Don’t forget to leave space in your life for me.

I’ll prove to you we’re the perfect match.
Are you available? Literally or metaphorically?
Don’t forget to leave space in your life for me.
It’s raining men, and I need one.

Are you available? Literally or metaphorically?
My boner brew will make you a better screw.
It’s raining men, and I need one.
Hi big guy. I’m lonely and dry.

This poem originally appeared in Cherry Tree: A National Literary Journal at Washington College.

-- sdl


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"Lively and affectionate" Publishers Weekly

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I left it
on when I
left the house
for the pleasure
of coming back
ten hours later
to the greatness
of Teddy Wilson
"After You've Gone"
on the piano
in the corner
of the bedroom
as I enter
in the dark


from New and Selected Poems by David Lehman

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